Some customers are just unforgettable.
#1
*end of long shift, exhausted!*
me: "...is it large or takeaway?"
Customer: *didn't realize the nonsense*,"Chicken.."
me: *chuckle* "Oh god, it's a long day, isn't it?"
customer: "very!"
#2
*angry lady because her fucking burger is 1 minute late, store is absolutely packed*
*I hand her her burger and before she even grabs it she utters "That's been sitting on the stand for five minutes, it's cold n..." *she gets hold of her fucking burger, it's so hot she drops it on the counter*
Bitch continues: "I've been standing here for 5 minutes dskfjajfhjaf
me: (fantasizes about punching her in the face and feeding her the fucking burger while yelling 'FIVE MINUTES BITCH? I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR 7 HOURS STRAIGHT NOW'
*smiles instead* "would you like another one, ma'am?"
#3
*oh my god slow down Andrew (regular customer)*
Andrew, super decent 50+ year old construction worker: "hey furridah, are you Muslim?"
me: "haha, yeah Andrew I am."
Andrew: "I am too, listen to that..kolhowa allahho ahad, allaho samad...."
*he recites soorat el ikhlas skipping all the ح and equally difficult letters*
*I was so impressed and got really emotional*
"hey Andrew, don't ever change your name"
#4
*super drunk guy, 5 am in the morning, not my shift, covering for someone*
customer: "You look absolutely stupid"
Let me make that clearer. He was topless, barefoot, wearing red baggy pants, unkempt hair, tearful eyes, no sense of dimension whatsoever AND I LOOK STUPID?
#5
*I was daydreaming and I sobered up to an old man in front of me who I can tell by his body language, has been standing there for a while*
*it was a bad day, I was in one of the tense waves of homesickness*
customer: "Oh poor girl you're a million miles away"
I just cried when he left.
#6
*regular Israeli customer who knew I was Egyptian and wouldn't stop telling me how beautiful Sinai is, to which my response every time was "Yeah, it's the most beautiful spot on Egyptian soil"*
#7
*afternoon, boring shift, empty store, guy with heaps of change and coins shows up*
customer: "Can I have notes instead?"
me: "woah, are you a street performer?"
customer: "I play the guitar and sing, yes!"
me: "are you going to write a song about me if I did?"
*His coins summed up to 113 dollars, he definitely got something special*
#8
*I work in a BURGER KING*
confused customer: "Can I have one MAC royale?"
me: "hahaha nope!"
MY FAVORITE STORY
#9
*burger is ready and he is eating in, 3 minutes until fries are ready*
me: "you can have a seat, once the fries are out, i'll serve them out for you"
customer: "okay".
fries are out, I pack them, come out of the kitchen door labeled 'staff only' which as a kid, I wanted so bad to enter (ambitious kid right there), and guess what? My boss was sweeping the floor. Now imagine with me, visualize! I maintain my pace out of the kitchen door, and while the lobby has smooth freshly swept tiles, I slide and fall off with all the fries flying and landing on my face, in front of eeeeverybody. That's my most embarrassing public fall so far. With all gracefulness, because I'm so used to falling and learnt to act normally, I get up, get back to the kitchen, fetch another pack of fries and serve it to the customer, who turns out to be so hot (OF COURSE HE HAS TO BE!!). He fights the urge to explode in laughter.
me, shamelessly smiling: "There you go, by the way, that's the hardest pack of fries I have ever given out"
customer: "oh no, please, can I have your number?"
(just a heads up, #9 fucking made my day, and I think that was his purpose anyway. I've dealt with so many people, some of them are total bitches, some are just unforgettable. As a staff, we had names for customers, especially regulars. Some of them were: 'fresh fries guy', 'one dollar cup lady', 'cappuccino lady', 'no bacon guy', 'no fries guy' and last but not least, 'cheeseburger with no cheese guy' (cheeseburger was on specials so it was cheaper to buy a cheeseburger with no cheese than to buy a normal cheese-less burger)
#1
*end of long shift, exhausted!*
me: "...is it large or takeaway?"
Customer: *didn't realize the nonsense*,"Chicken.."
me: *chuckle* "Oh god, it's a long day, isn't it?"
customer: "very!"
#2
*angry lady because her fucking burger is 1 minute late, store is absolutely packed*
*I hand her her burger and before she even grabs it she utters "That's been sitting on the stand for five minutes, it's cold n..." *she gets hold of her fucking burger, it's so hot she drops it on the counter*
Bitch continues: "I've been standing here for 5 minutes dskfjajfhjaf
me: (fantasizes about punching her in the face and feeding her the fucking burger while yelling 'FIVE MINUTES BITCH? I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR 7 HOURS STRAIGHT NOW'
*smiles instead* "would you like another one, ma'am?"
#3
*oh my god slow down Andrew (regular customer)*
Andrew, super decent 50+ year old construction worker: "hey furridah, are you Muslim?"
me: "haha, yeah Andrew I am."
Andrew: "I am too, listen to that..kolhowa allahho ahad, allaho samad...."
*he recites soorat el ikhlas skipping all the ح and equally difficult letters*
*I was so impressed and got really emotional*
"hey Andrew, don't ever change your name"
#4
*super drunk guy, 5 am in the morning, not my shift, covering for someone*
customer: "You look absolutely stupid"
Let me make that clearer. He was topless, barefoot, wearing red baggy pants, unkempt hair, tearful eyes, no sense of dimension whatsoever AND I LOOK STUPID?
#5
*I was daydreaming and I sobered up to an old man in front of me who I can tell by his body language, has been standing there for a while*
*it was a bad day, I was in one of the tense waves of homesickness*
customer: "Oh poor girl you're a million miles away"
I just cried when he left.
#6
*regular Israeli customer who knew I was Egyptian and wouldn't stop telling me how beautiful Sinai is, to which my response every time was "Yeah, it's the most beautiful spot on Egyptian soil"*
#7
*afternoon, boring shift, empty store, guy with heaps of change and coins shows up*
customer: "Can I have notes instead?"
me: "woah, are you a street performer?"
customer: "I play the guitar and sing, yes!"
me: "are you going to write a song about me if I did?"
*His coins summed up to 113 dollars, he definitely got something special*
#8
*I work in a BURGER KING*
confused customer: "Can I have one MAC royale?"
me: "hahaha nope!"
MY FAVORITE STORY
#9
*burger is ready and he is eating in, 3 minutes until fries are ready*
me: "you can have a seat, once the fries are out, i'll serve them out for you"
customer: "okay".
fries are out, I pack them, come out of the kitchen door labeled 'staff only' which as a kid, I wanted so bad to enter (ambitious kid right there), and guess what? My boss was sweeping the floor. Now imagine with me, visualize! I maintain my pace out of the kitchen door, and while the lobby has smooth freshly swept tiles, I slide and fall off with all the fries flying and landing on my face, in front of eeeeverybody. That's my most embarrassing public fall so far. With all gracefulness, because I'm so used to falling and learnt to act normally, I get up, get back to the kitchen, fetch another pack of fries and serve it to the customer, who turns out to be so hot (OF COURSE HE HAS TO BE!!). He fights the urge to explode in laughter.
me, shamelessly smiling: "There you go, by the way, that's the hardest pack of fries I have ever given out"
customer: "oh no, please, can I have your number?"
(just a heads up, #9 fucking made my day, and I think that was his purpose anyway. I've dealt with so many people, some of them are total bitches, some are just unforgettable. As a staff, we had names for customers, especially regulars. Some of them were: 'fresh fries guy', 'one dollar cup lady', 'cappuccino lady', 'no bacon guy', 'no fries guy' and last but not least, 'cheeseburger with no cheese guy' (cheeseburger was on specials so it was cheaper to buy a cheeseburger with no cheese than to buy a normal cheese-less burger)
